This is real life...

Alright, so I am here now. It is a little bit surreal. Its hard to realize that I am in Hawaii. I've spent the last two days at the beach in the sun. I am sun burnt actually. But evenso its just really hard to grasp that I am here in Hawaii, 5 minutes from the ocean. 


Yea, so I know after reading that it is impossible to imagine that I might possible by homesick...but I am. Not really for home, but just for comfort. Its hard to come to a new place and not have those deep connections that I left. Thus, its not really a homesick for home as much as its a homesick for depth in relationships. However, for me I know that the first few days are the hardest. After that, I am good to go.


Coming here and seeing so many people on fire for the Lord is so cool. Bonds are made much more easy because you have the common goal of the Lord. That might sound contradicting to what I just said but its really not. I think you can bond with a lot of people but not feel deeply connected. I long for more than bonds, however it is super cool to see so many people chasing after the Lord.


It's also been really hard, though. I dont know that the Lord has called me to be this nomad missionary so when I first got here there was a lot of working through whether I was turning my back to God if I was not completely giving up all of me and all my dreams and doing mission work in the sense of traveling to all the nations. I am starting to see how wrong that was, and what a lie the devil was feeding me. The devil has been trying to plant some many false ideas of what it means to be in love with the Lord and how it should look, but I am beginning to see that if the Lord wanted us all to look the same then he would not have made us different. 


I am starting to see that no matter what I do or where I go, I have a mission field. Whether that means being in another country serving or back home in Bristol to my college campus. Everywhere I go there is an opportunity to get down on my hands and knees and wash the feet of the people around me. There is the opportunity to serve people, and most of all TO LOVE PEOPLE. From my friends to my family to my parents to the high school kids in the area to the homeless people to the everyday Christian man and woman.  


I am not entirely sure why the Lord has brought me here, but I think it is going to look a lot different than I imagined. I thought the Lord drew me here to show me how to do mission work because I thought that to serve him I needed to give up conventionalism and become a devoted nomad missionary, but I think I was wrong.


I think the Lord brought me here to become deeply intimate with Him first and foremost.
I think He brought me here to fit the puzzle pieces together; to show me where my mission field is going to be for the next period of time in my life. I think He brought me here to show me what college degree I should seek that would best serve Him.
I think the lord brought me here to show me (honestly) the exact opposite environment (not people just environment) from Furman to show me that I long for a life that has pieces of both--YWAM and Furman.
I think the Lord brought me here to show me what my heart BURN, BEATS, and BREAKS for. Ahh, I cannot wait to find that out.


I really believe this is a time of healing, intimacy, freedom, passion, and revelation. This is my time with the Lord. Community is going to be awesome, but this is about intimacy. If you want to pray for me, please pray for those things, especially revelation and healing. 


Love you all and miss everyone of you dearly.