Day One

Alright, so today was my first day of class. WOW.


I am having a hard time even knowing how to process it all. 


The woman who came to speak was Donna Jordan. The way she walks with the Lord is SO COOL. She literally was talking to Him while speaking with us. She was telling us about how He was laughing and He was there and He was telling her it was okay to say certain things. She was talking about how we are made to walk in communion with Him.  


There was so much she said so I am going to just write down some key points I had while she spoke. 

This is NOT a religion; this is seeing the Kingdom come. Religion has corrupted the Kingdom. God wants to lead the church--not man. We will have to battle the church at times.


Not wrong to seek the secular field persay, but it is all about where your heart is. SEEK HIM FIRST.
God looks at the heart-- He wants a true worshipper.


Joel & Acts talks about God raising up sons and daughters with visions and dreams and prophecy-->look at our generation. WE ARE A CREATIVE GENERATION. It is time to take back Hollywood.


This is the image she had of what God is doing right now: A Bride in Army boots. We are a bride preparing for out bridegroom, but we are also a general in his army. 


Walking in humility can mean sharing--sharing your stories blesses others. It elevates the Holy Spirit and the ways in which He is working.


poem by C. Austin Miles:
I come to the garden alone. While the dew is still on roses And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses; And He walks with me and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own, And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.

Personally,
I am conflicted. I don't really know where to begin or what to feel. I feel like the Lord is ripping me apart from the inside out. It is the first day, and I am already so emotionally overwhelmed. It's like the Lord is breaking me into pieces and no one can fix the pain but Him. I think this time may be the Lord's time--His intimate time with me. I think he literally has called me to the desert so He can speak and ONLY Him. And as encouraging as that is, it is an extremely painful process. It feels so lonely...like I am surrounded by people but no one can understand the ache in my heart, no one can see the pieces falling to the ground. I am in the desert. 


One really cool revelation did come to me today: the reason I am in the position I am in right now is because the Lord is creating a Bride who won't walk down the aisle looking at the people in pews wondering if there is someone better sitting there. He is creating in me a Bride who longs to run down the aisle to Him, and He longs to create a Bride in me that longs for my husband in that way too. He is not only creating the Bride for himself, but for the man I marry. I have spent so many years looking around, looking to see what looked good, and the Lord is creating a new heart in me that no longer desires to look for that man, but the Lord will bring Him. I will walk down the aisle with my eyes fixed on the man in front of me. My Husband. ( In a spiritual and physical sense).